Introduction

I am a technology professional and have extensive experience with theory, maintenance, and operation of digital and analog video equipment, PC-class hardware, workstations, and larger minicomputers as well as the various peripherals and interconnections therein implied. Needles to say, I know how to handle ESD (electrostatic sensitive device) situations such as circuit boards and individual components. I am not rich but I am dedicated to my fields of expertise and currently maintain a 1200 sq. ft. private datacenter and electronics laboratory for my own edification and amusement.

Briefly, I'm not a complete idiot when it comes to dumb stuff like personal computers.

The purchase

Unfortunately, I have lost the original receipt, but I was able to obtain this document, an "INVOICE IMAGE", which was printed on one of the store's printers on 09/08/99. As can be seen, I bought about $400.00 worth of merchndise on 07/14/99. This included an "ATX" motherboard (line item #3). The price on the motherboard box was about $75.00, but there was a "special" for $159.00 (line item #1) by which I ostensibly received the items shown for the prices shown on the printout. Now, this is all well and good, and was a sale at Fry's.

The whole lot of gear, including a 10gig HDD sat on a workbench, untouched and unopened, until 09/05/99, the Sunday of the Labor Day weekend, when I was finally able to divert some time from my datacenter's operations and sit down for a relaxing build of another PC-class machine.

The non-functionality

After I had the entire machine put together, I turned it on. I waited. The "VGA BIOS Logo" didn't appear, and the unit did not seem to be POSTing (Power-on self-Test). It was too late to take in the evening the unit back to Fry's.

The nightmare begins

Labor day, 09/06/99, 4:00 PM, I took the unit to Fry's, explained, and was sent to the service department counter. I waited 1 hour and 20 minutes to be served. The "technical supervisor" plugged in the unit, and we waited... Finally it began slowly beeping after 3 minutes. She thought it was likely the motherboard, because of the way it was acting.

She informed me that I could pay them $75.00 to figure out what was wrong with the brand new items they had sold me. I replied that it was not up to me to pay, but up to them to see that I had a working item. She directed me to the PIC (Person In Charge). This person, after some resistance and snooty remarks, agreed to check it.

Fry's location in Dallas has a cobbled-up system right there at the return lines area, so they can test the junk parts being returned by the many other unhappy customers, right there on the spot. The PIC got it to work by puting my DIMM in slot 2 (It was in slot 1 before) and inserting an expensive graphics card. He proclaimed it an "incompatibility" issue, and told me to try another VGA card at home. I asked why the DIMM was now in slot 2. He proclaimed it an "incompatibility" issue, and told me to try another VGA card at home. (broken record syndrome).

The replay

I took the PC home, and tried another VGA card, and it worked. Oh Good!! Now I can load win98, and use the thing.. well, I did and it ran for about 30 hours. I had to power it down to move it to another area where I have special network hookups and uninterruptible AC power. It never came back. I tried moving the DIMM. I tried other VGA cards, it was just dead.

The logical explanation is that the motherboard was no good when I got it, that is, it was intermittent. I removed it from the case, repackaged it in the box as new, and drove to the store with a friend of mine.

here we go again!

We went to the return area, told the service droid that the motherboard was dead, sir, and that we would like it replaced. The droid happily looked up my info (sans receipt), and issued store credit, explaining that I could get another motherboard of this kind right over in the motherboard department. I was about to sign the green form (a regular Fry's form which states what you are returning and what the original price was, how much you paid if on sale, and how much you are due in return) when I noticed that the price on the green store credit form was only about $55.00, a difference of $20 from the price marked on the motherboard's box.

I asked for assurance that I would receive a replacement motherboard in exchange for this green document, since that is what I had paid for. I stated that:

1. I bought a functionality embodied in a motherboard.
2. I was due, under the terms of the warranty, a reinstatement of that level of functionality at no cost to me.

The droid did not understand the logic. He just assured me that I would get the replacement, just like that one I had returned. I was satisfied by this statement (Oh foolish me.. He just knew he would get rid of me, and that I would then be someone else's problem).

We went to the motherboard department and asked for a SOYO SY-5EMM (which we were owed by virtue of the green document and the statement of a servant of fry's Electronics; As we are aware, an employer is bound by actions and statements of its servants).

The helpful person could not find a SOYO SY-5EMM. The person's manager declared the item discontinued. I requested the closest match, a SOYO board which, although it did NOT have sound like the5EMM, was priced the same $75.00 or so as the one I bought. There was no other board close enough to match the CPU, etc. which I already had, so therefore, they should replace my motherboard with another, even of their choosing. In good faith, I said it would be ok if it did not have sound. They refused.

Not only was the manager of the motherboard department going to screw me out of on-board sound, but was going to make me pay $20.00 more as well. Oh well, I had not had a good screwing lately, so I said ok (more arguing with this braindead moron was poinless).

I then went to find a decent graphics card. I ended up with the $79 motherboard, a $110 AGP VGA card, an order for another 64MB DIMM at $110, and a cat-5 RJ45 cable crimp tool and some connectors.

When I got to the checkout, I was subjected to intense and embarrasing scrutiny. They made off with my check and drivers license, and returned 15 minutes later and said that they could not reach my bank account, so they would not accept the check (about $240). Now, I'm not one of these people running around with check #103 or something. My checks from one acount are in the 8000's, and the other in the 11,000 range, both earned through many years of business. The check was unquestionably good. They just wanted to treat my like a good F.E.C.E.S. member.

I finally said, "the heck with it, give me the $55.00 in cash, and I'll go. I have been in this store running around jacking with your people for 3 hours". They would not give cash, saying that this was a store credit. I told the cashier that we would not leave the position until we spoke with the manager. (not again!) Well, it was a different one this time. He printed the invoice image you see above here, and yet again told us that store credit was all we could get. (the name at the bottom is osetensibly his name). This guy was acually kind of polite to us, so I decided not to argue with him, since I could forsee the outcome. He did take us to the front to speak with the PIC again, but while waiting for the PIC to finish an argument with another unhappy customer, which was taking forever, I just said forget it, I'll go buy something with the credit and get out. I asked for the printout stating that I no longer had my receipt, and he gave it to me.

I bought a tool, crimp connectors, and a book. I am reasonably sure none of those will break. I was forced to buy something or be robbed of the "credit". so I made sure to get things that could not be defective, and I examined each item closely. This works well for books and hand tools.

Now, during all of this, there was this guy we kept seeing, a guy with a pony tail and cutoffs.. I thought he was following us, but we discovered he was in the same mode as we were, being screwed by Fry's Electronics. He also carried a bad motherboard.

Additionally, to add insult to injury, I was told by the PIG, er.. PIC that the board I had returned would be repackaged and put on the shelf to be sold (to some other poor bastard) because he "tested it and found nothing wrong with it."

The angst and frustration

Fry's Electronics has STOLEN $20 in cash from me. Fry's Electronics has STOLEN audio system functionality from me.
Fry's Electronics has sold me DEFECTIVE GOODS and refused to make good.
Fry's Electronics has treated me with INDIGNIY.
Fry's Electronics has IMPUNED my credentials.
Fry's Electronics has LIED to me.
Fry's Electronics has WASTED 3 hours of my time (@$150/hr field rate).
Fry's Electronics has LOST my business forever. (they are very losing and truly suck! They suck so bad that they should go into the vacuum tube business to provide the vacuum! {a very high vacuum indeed})

The Solution [does *not* involve Fry's..]

I went to "Advanced PC Products" (Dallas, Texas) and bought a Shuttle main board and Viper AGP card. Easy deal. Something wrong? You just goto the "RMA" counter, and one of the technicians will check it and make it right. Also the same exact Shuttle board was $30 less than at Fry's.

Ranting and Raving: The Pit of Hell

In my opinion, Fry's Electronics business practices with regards to the customer is as a deep pit of hell most foul, filled with bodily waste fluids and rusty fishooks covered in mucous, which have been pumped under pressure into and sealed inside of, various putrified internal organs (their choice) of swine, dogs, and asses. Inside the pit, Greed, the Devil's instrument (played like a bagpipe but not sounding as good), squeals a hellish tune:

"Spread your money, far and wide!
As long as you do it here inside!
You took it home, the BIOS lied,
No Intel, it's FRY's inside!

One may easily fall into this pit, bursting those entrails and bladders and getting impaled with the fishooks and sprayed with the liquids, and may not extricate oneself without expense and trouble. Of course you can always get right out of the pit by eating your way out, or using your cash to build a mound high enough to allow you to reach the edge and climb out, leaving the cash behind of course.

Pokemon Trainers: Your Meowth can use the "Payday" attack to get you out of Fry's' pit!

To those in the pit, Fry's sez: "OK! Coffee Break's over! Everyone back to standing on their heads!"


It is my sincere hope that Fry's Electronics goes out of business, and that the Frys themselves end up on the street as winos scavenging aluminum cans. Who knows, maybe they could then eke out a living off the copper from all the defective scrap boards and floor sweepings they have been selling and reselling as new.

sincerely, (name witheld due to Fry's trade association with current employer)