Cuzzin Billy is reel smart

He knoews how to make glue and invent all kinds of stuff. We wuz to his house wonce an he has a lot of books. They hav lots of big words and nummers im dem and are mitey fine books too, cuz wee seen them. I think cuzzin Billy is a sientist or sumthin' for the gummint caus we seen him wonce at work an he sits for hours and stares at sum big mashines with lots of dials and sientifical-lookin stuff stickin out of them evry wich way and is aways talkin about magnet-ons and beams and stuff like that there. It mus be reel sientifical work, cuz we cant get no magnets to stik on our beams. We never seen no magnet on no beam. I asked him bout the beams cuz we cud use sum for the roof, did he have some to spare, but he sed they are only inside the mashine and sumpin about the laws of pizzas that he can't take them out of the mashine. did you ever heer of sech a thing? I dint know there was laws about pizzas. Well, then some mean-lookin guys, what looked like the poh-lice, an some other fella wat looked like a doctor with a white coate and all, came in an the doctor fella yelled at cuzzin billy and made us leev, sumpin about radiaters not been on the level, or sumpin like that. We-uns thot maybe cuzzin billy broke the pizza law cause they sure were mad, spesully the po-lice lookin's ones, kep givin' us dirty looks. 819 made the evil eye at them.

We-uns is also a-spesully prowd of our other cuzzin big bill, he is our half-cuzzin and also our uncle. sometims we call him uncle willy. He is reel nice to us an sends us wisky every week by fed ex. Can you imagin that? He is a big shot an works in washinton ina big offis, and has lots uv money and wisky and girls. I shore wich we-uns had som money an sum girls. But the wisky is ok.