from the "les miserables in concert" on public tv
Mssr. Thernardier's song:

This is intended as a guide as to how to do business: It was transcribed from watching the video. if there are mistakes, well...

welcome messeur,
sit yourself down,
and meet the best inkeeper in town
as for the rest
all of them crooks
rooking the guests
and cooking the books
seldom do you see honest men like me
gents of good intent
who's content to be

master of the house
dolin out the charm
ready with a handshake an an open palm
gents who makes the tale
makes a little stir
customers appreciate a bon vivieur
glad to do me friens a favor
doesn't cost me to be nice
but nothing gets you nothing
everyting has got a little price

master of the house
keeper of the zoo
ready to relieve 'em of a tooth or two
waterin' the wine
makin' up the weight
picking up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
everybody loves a landlord
everybody's bosom friend
i do whatever pleases geezers
then i bleed em in the end

master of the house
quick to catch your eye
never lets a passer-by go passin' by
servant to the poor
pander to the rich,
comforter, philosopher, an life-long mate,
everybody's boon companion,
everybody's chapperone,
so drop of your valises geezers and i'll skin ya to the bone.

enter messieur,
lay down your load
unlace your boots
and rest from the road
this weighs a ton
travel's a curse,
but here we strive to lighten your purse.

here the goose is cooked,
here th fat is fried,
and nothing's overlooked till i'm satisfied.

food beyond caompare
food beyond belief
mix it in a mixer and pretend its beef
kidney of a horse
liver of a cat
filling up the sausages with this and that

residents are more than welcome
brial suite is occupied
reasonable charges plus some little extras on the side

charge em for the lice
extra for the mice
ten percent for lookin in the mirror twice
here a little slice
there a little cut
three percent for sleeping with the window shut
when it comes to fixin prices,
there are lots of tricks we knows,
an it all increases
all in bits an pieces, geezers
its amazing how it grows.

master of the house
quick to catch your eye
never lets a passer-by go passing by.
servant to the poor
pander to the rich
comforter, philosopher and life-long mate.
everybody's boon companion
gives em everything he's got
dirty bunch of geezers jeezus what a sorry little lot.