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1. TRUE / FALSE (check one)
[ ]______[ ]
the pioneer time tunnel breathes lifetime estimates of 3 heads and 2 motors,
and the "586 clone". False starts stop me. I step on it.
Social-psychosis-vortex followers precess around perfect points appropriate
to jocularity: Septic Tank Suckers' League:"we exist on excrement!".
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2. ESSAY QUESTION (use back of sheet, attatch additional sheets if needed)
Explain B'hob's action:
B'hob took his shotgun shells and opened them, dumping out the shot and
then filled them up with the leftover fat from last night's giant prime
rib extravaganza. Then he went to the gun range and slimed some targets.
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3. TRUE / FALSE (check one)
[ ]______[ ]
I have to pee.
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4. ESSAY QUESTION (use back of sheet, attatch additional sheets if needed)
Elaborate on the following statements:
Input needs no reason, only to be chewed.
Speaking is no treason, never to be rude.
By aversion we abrogate all abrasions.
By brown-nosing we barely buter bread.
By cunning we craftily concoct crap.
By diversity we destroy dogmatic dramas.
By education we eradicate evil emesis.
By farting we filter file fragments.
By greiving we grab green groceries.
By howling we hate hot heads.
By investment we invite increased interest.
By joking we jump japanese jerks.
By lying we list latent lives.
By mercy we modify more malestroms.
By normalizing we nullify necromancers' noodles.
By operating we observe oval occurrences.
By purification we precipitate perfect pinions.
By questioning we quote quivering queebs.
By reason we rationalize red records.
By singing we satisfy sober sounds.
By tripping we titilate tertiary trials.
By utterences we uproot ugly underdogs.
By voting we verify virtuous vexment.
By whining we wish we win.
By xerography we x-ray xylophagus xylophones.
By yelling we yodel yellow yogurt.
By zigzag we zero zany zealots.
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5. MULTIPLE CHOICE (check one only)
The plural of "hutus" is:
[ ] hutusses
[ ] huti
[ ] hutux
[ ] hutus
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6. ESSAY QUESTION (use back of sheet, attatch additional sheets if needed.)
Remember this?
Remember that?
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7. ESSAY QUESTION (use back of sheet, attatch additional sheets if needed.)
Where in space is your time ?
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8. MULTIPLE CHOICE (check one only)
maybe we will just dissolve into the seething lubricant foaming
in the plumbing between the hydraulic meta-clutches of:
[ ] my mind.
[ ] your mind.
[ ] our mind.
[ ] our minds.
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9. TRUE / FALSE (check one)
[ ]______[ ]
Thunder rolls and reigns in my coffee, walking upon thin prismatic
bands of colored pre-set sidewalks of the concious effort. You view large
many-spindled rotating machinery. you view the undercarriage of trucks,
noting fuel, vapor, brake, oil lines; noting the deposits and slimes in
the crevices and small corners of the welds and in the slots of the
lockwashers beneath the heads of bolts. This is the dust of mechanoid
existence, of toil, neglect, abuse.
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10. TRUE / FALSE (check one)
[ ]______[ ]
this bullshit is intentional.
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11. MULTIPLE CHOICE (check only one)
Even though you know they are out to get you, you:
[ ] do nothing.
[ ] have made yourself invincible to thier puny powers.
[ ] know that they are too incompetent to hurt you.
[ ] sit and watch T.V.
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12. MULTIPLE CHOICE (check one only)
Since the warranty was voided when you broke the seal, you are:
[ ] screwed
[ ] sad
[ ] both
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13. MULTIPLE CHOICE (check one only)
In order to beam electromagnetic radiation at the neighbors, you:
[ ] remove the door on your microwave oven and aim it at them.
[ ] build a large radio transmitter and whistle into the microphone.
[ ] use the "cable TV" wire as an antenna for a radio transmitter.
[ ] let the spy sattelites do it for you.
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14. MULTIPLE CHOICE (check one only)
When you drink too much, you:
[ ] vomit
[ ] fight
[ ] sleep
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15. MULTIPLE CHOICE (check one only)
Which do you prefer?
[ ] feedback from the howling vortex of social psychosis
[ ] mumblings of your own convoluted thoughts as they fly past your life
[ ] that there was a "pause" button on the tape deck of life
[ ] junk mail
[ ] other (specify)________________________________________________________
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16. EXPLAIN THE FOLLOWING: (use back of sheet, attatch additional sheets...)
A: you can go in the house and smell the roaches. you can smell them in
the TV and stereo, in the kitchen too.
B: when the vcr eats the tape, you can get it out with a screwdriver,
pliers, and some WD-40.
C: that fool sucks up more lard than most average leg-licking river suckers.
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17. Are you in bed with the Evil Empire?
[ ] yes.
[ ] no.
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..........INTERROGATRON, inc. c 1990-1998..................................